Commas Would Have Been Deeply Appreciated

in Emails from Suitors

I’ve read a lot of dating profiles and even more emails from them, so take my word when I say the majority of the guys on them cannot spell or write worth a shit. It hurts my eyes to read it, and I feel like a total cunt when I’m scoffing at them but I can’t help it! Can’t you guys proofread your stuff?! I know there’s spell-check, so you get those red underlined squiggly lines when you misspell. Why do you forsake them?!!! They are there to help yooouuuuuuu.

George St. Pierre: Hi well i guess i made the cut especially age lol im not normal think little of myself i like my body trying to make it better about me im clean workout everyday i also train and teach martial arts not everybody can do that trying to get in shape see if i can still fight inside the cage yea (mma) im careing like wine dont smoke drink very little would very much chat meet get to know u better see where things go from there few chances are given and not many are taken so if u gave me that chance i would definitely take it that way i wont regret it in life

Tip: if you want to get a woman’s attention, don’t start off by saying you’re not normal and think little of yourself in a gigantic, debacle of a run-on sentence. Next, I recommend making sense, bro. Geezus fucking Christ!

Maybe one too many punches to the head left him stupid.
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