How Much Love Do You Have to Give?

in Conversations with People

Personally, I’m not attracted to heavy set dudes. Maybe it’s because I want to be the soft one and the one with curves in the relationship. Maybe it’s because the fatter you are, the less able you are to keep up with me. Maybe it’s because I don’t like jiggly tidbits. Whatever the case, it’s all good because there is bound to be those who like what I don’t like. If you don’t fancy introverted nerdy guys who may or may not have hair, send them my way! There’s a lid for every pot out there!

Sis: I’ve shown coworkers pics of my gf and they’re like “oh… she’s really cute/pretty” and I’m thinkin “damn, my last 2 were dogs????” hahahahahhahaha
Me: *coughs coughs*
Sis: ok, jamie wasnt actually pretty but…
Me: jk, your last wasn’t ugly
Sis: she was cute…just became like… boy/butch w/in the 10mos we were together
Me: look what you did to her
Sis: NO. she looks soooo cute and pretty when she’s more feminine. she was too insecure to accept that…. then insecure when she was boyish and i didnt say “you’re hot” in her fedora and matching vest. like get OUT of here. but basically, i get to say “my gfs get more and more attractive”. and i felt bad when people were like “yea… you’re the last cute piece of ass she’ll ever get”
Me: when you have a low baseline, it’s not hard to improve upon
Sis: damn, really???? i didnt feel i had a low baseline, lol. none were idiots. ok, Jamie wasn’t hot… but i found her attractive. oh well, ok, she wasnt a genius but she was business savvy…
Me: i guess you just had a lot of “love” to give…
Sis: yea, now i dont
Me: yeah, just too much surface area for me. i like to massage and touch and kiss…i’d have to take a break halfway thru with someone her size
Sis: im literally LOL
Me: gotta warm up before I start, cracking my neck, stretching my muscles. “alright, let’s do this!”
Sis: idiot, but seriously, she couldnt keep up… lol. i was deprived
Me: what’s so hard about basking like a whale?
Sis: OMG. THAT is mean
Me: yeah, i felt the fires of hell warm my ass just now

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