I Already Have a Dad, Thanks

in Emails from Suitors

Sugar daddy (as defined by Wikipedia) is a slang term for a man who offers to support a typically younger woman or man after establishing a relationship that is usually sexual.

Sugar Dad email #1: You’re very cute. I’m in richardson for a couple of months on business and I was wondering if by any chance you’d be interested in a sugar daddy? 28/m.
My Response #1: only if that sugar daddy is extremely good-looking and fit with 6 pack abs, well-spoken, highly educated, great sense of humor, at least 6′ tall, has all his hair and teeth, no criminal record, no homicidal tendencies, and can actually keep up with me. Do you know of anyone??

Sugar Dad email #2: That doesn’t describe me, so I’m afraid not :)
My Response #2: Of course not. If you did satisfy those requirements, why would you offer to pay a female for her company?

Here are my issues: A) I’m older than him B) he isn’t in a position to financially offer support (so where’s the “sugar” part of the deal?) C) this is a goddamn dating website! not SugarDaddy.com geezus! I don’t always intentionally try to be a bitch, but some people are just clueless and need to be called out. I’m on a dating website looking for an equal. You’re on the wrong website, buddy. Here’s where you need to be on instead:

Which reminds me- I need to renew my subscription.
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