I Kinda Have STDs

in Conversations with People

My sister and I chat online throughout the workday, so we manage to talk about everything and with no filter. We couldn’t be more polar opposite, so discussions can end up quite heated or full of LOLs. To give you an insight, she’s a gay, vegetarian, bleeding heart liberal who majored in English because she was following her passion, while I’m a beef-loving conservative who double majored in science because there’s a healthy job market for that. The thing we both have in common is neither of us are using our degrees. Oh, and we have both have pretty funny and awkward dating stories.

Sis: Did you know that most of the vitamins you ingest just come out? your body doesn’t really absorb them
Me: no shit, English major
Sis: so why bother? eat better. AND I worked in pharm for almost 12yrs, I know a lil something, OKAY???? dang.
Me: haha ok
Sis: always lookin/talkin down on me… my degree is good… for… like… well…
Me: chatting on IM. with me. during work hours. and not making me want to gouge out my eyes with bad grammar.
Sis: hahaha. yea, thanks. I’m glad I could be of service. I say I’ve an English degree and girls like it… I tell them I’m a writer and they like it
Me: yeah? I tell men I’m a microbiologist and that I have gonorrhea and in my fridge.  They don’t seem to be impressed

I also like to comment that my roommate has HIV and herpes in her fridge. Between the two of us (she likes virus, while I prefer bacteria), we’ve got the nasty sex diseases covered. If I really don’t like my date, I tell him that I have access to a plethora of STDs at my fingertips (at least they’re not in my vag, right?).

STD match


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