I Rather Be Homeless

in Emails from Suitors

There are some seriously generous men out there in the world! They offer love, shelter, and support to needy women and ask nothing in return. You just have to put yourself out there- like an ad on the internet- to find them!

Generous: Now how about you come live in my heart and pay no rent?

And by “heart” do you mean a cage in your basement with a bucket for a toilet? OK, maybe I’m being cynical here. Maybe he IS a generous gentleman who’s just offering copious amounts of love yet ask for nothing in return. Then again, he may be literally asking me to rip out his heart and use it as shelter. Who knows? People on the internet can be fucking crazy.

For me?? You really shouldn’t have. No really. You shouldn’t have.
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