No Stranger to Disappointment

in Bad Dates

I prefer dating men who are substantially taller than me. A healthy 8 inches or more is preferable. I measure 5 foot nothing, so it’s nice when I’m with a taller gentleman and not be mistaken for a teen when I patronize a nice restaurant (Take me seriously, dammit! I have money!). I also appreciate the way vertically unchallenged men’s embraces make me feel all protected and small- however false that reality is. Hey, I like what I like, and I like to stand on my tip-toes when I kiss a guy, and it’s fun to swing on them like a jungle gym set.

So here’s a random rant just because…

Aside from tall men being fun to climb, a usual bonus that comes with a tall man: big penis. I know, I know, it’s not always the case, hence, the use of the word “usual”. Overall, I’d say I’ve lucked out most of the time. What? Just because I’m small doesn’t mean I prefer a small penis. Vaginas are very… very… accommodating, so bring on the well-endowed men! Honestly, I can’t imagine any woman ever deliberately wanting a small penis if she had a say. Small penises to a woman are like small breasts to a man: we’ll take it, but most of us don’t prefer it if we had a real choice in the matter. Truth.

There have been two instances where I can remember the stabbing pain of disappointment when the dude dropped his pants. Like, wtf? You guys are well over 6 feet tall; what happened? I’m not going to lie, I feel gypped… robbed… conned, I tell ya! (The feeling is probably similar to those men feel when we take off our makeup and push-up bra.) Hey little guy, did you think that I wouldn’t notice the size discrepancy? Oh, I notice and yes, I gave them some time to warm up and get excited. Too bad I was the only one who wasn’t warming up or getting excited. Being the sympathetic person that I am though, I can only imagine my disappointment pales in comparison to how those two must feel every time they look down. Aww *sniffles*

I wonder if tall guys with short penises make a bigger mess when they pee. It seems like it would, right? Hmm… Anyway, here are some “penis” photos to entertain you:

Creepy

Doggy

 

Awkward

FootballOK, not sure about the last one…

Leave a comment!

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: