Unemployed with Kids Need Not Apply

in Bad Profiles

In general, OKCupid does an all right job suggesting men to me based on my preferences. However, when it fucks up, it really takes the cake. Well, more material for my blog, I suppose. Here’s an excerpt from this winning potential mate:

My self-summary:  hey what’s up ladies I got 2 kids and no job so I need a solid lady I could really use a caring person in these hard times i’m a stand-up dude just fallen on some hard times but i’ll be back on top soon enough (yes! I want an insta-family! just add my bank account and ta-da!)

What I’m doing with my life: walking around town bumming cigarettes from people, getting on the internet at the library, taking care of the family (by what means are you taking care of this said family?)

I’m really good at: shattering dreams and smashing hopes (as if I’m not shattering my dreams and smashing my hopes on my own, mister)

On a typical Friday night I am: taking the kids to cici’s pizza and cursing real loud on the phone at my baby mama the whole time (yeah, tell that biatch I ain’t payin for her damn kids’ pizza)

I wonder if this profile is for real or if it’s an evil attempt by some vindictive ex. Whatever the case, how and why did OKC match this profile with mine?! Guess they’re trying to tell me to do more charitable work?

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