What He Wouldn’t Do for Me

in Emails from Suitors

We both know a blog that recounts how fabulously awesome dating is will be nowhere near as entertaining as one that talks about its shitty reality. I’m going to stick with what I know, and boy do I know a thing or two about the horrors of being single and dating. Honestly, after receiving a handful of emails that aren’t appalling or entertaining in some strange, sick, perverted way, I’m left a little disappointed and wanting. Maybe I’ve been conditioned to expect nothing but that. Anyway, thanks to Jimbo, he curbed that feeling.

Jimbo: I’d crawl across ten miles of broken glass, just to lick the lugnut on the truck that takes your panties to the cleaners. 

I’m assuming Jimbo is attempting to be funny. Instead, he came off as uber frightening, and I got a traumatizing mental image of his wiry frame slithering across the ground with his dark beady eyes and flickering tongue. *shivers* You’re welcome.

 

Lugnut

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