When a Guy Says He’s Tired of Dating Models…

in Bad Dates, Dating Tips

I’m grateful to have a built-in BullShit meter that is relatively accurate. The sad part is, though, it goes off too often when I’m on dates. I allow some leeway when it comes to men inflating their egos with little white lies, but please, don’t push it too far. No one likes the stench of bullshit during dinner, especially during a meal she was enjoying. I’ve been served unwanted side dishes of “Oh, by the way, I’m married” to a whole entree of “I’m tired of dating models.” No, this was not from a movie, and yes, there are men who use this line.

Models

Who even says crap like this?? Am I supposed to be impressed or grateful that you’ve crossed over to the dark side and have given “regular” girls like me a chance? Oh gee, oh golly! See, I believe only insecure douchebags would feel the need to divulge this. If you were seriously the type who can date models, you’d probably not say anything at all and just stop dating them if you were tired of their vapid personalities. But no, you think by telling me this, it makes you look desirable- news flash: false. Instead, you are now viewed as a pathetic showboat who is desperately crying for validation. Sure, in the off chance that models are into short dweebs, why would you even bring this up when you’re trying to woo someone?

I should have asked him to divulge a bit. What kind of models? Hand models? XL models? Men, here’s a tip: if you want to be taken seriously by a woman, don’t spew out dumb shit. First, think about who is your audience, OK? Some things you can tell your boys and receive hi-5s, while saying the same thing in front of a female will get a kick in the nads. Second, ask yourself if what you’re about to say will increase your likelihood of getting into her panties. No? Then shut your piehole.

SchlongIn retrospect (I need to think more quickly on my feet!), I should have told him I was tired of dating dudes with huge schlongs, and congratulations, he seems like the perfect candidate to inaugurate the change.

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