You Look Familiar

in Conversations with People

There are times when I’m sitting at my laptop casually watching cutesy puppy videos or reading hilarious comments on Yahoo! articles (I don’t really spend time reading the actual articles because they’re shitty excuses for journalism. the comments are what’s entertaining) and find myself wanting another form of distraction. That’s when I sign onto my dating profile and open the chat function and I wait for something to bite. Yup, I open the gates to see if anyone worthwhile will come through. Most of the time, I prefer live chat over email because I can find out things about a person within a couple of minutes instead of daaaaays. If I’m lucky, an instant connection is made, and we’ve just saved ourselves some valuable time. However, when I’m unlucky, I run into idiots like this:

Familiar

Liar Liar: Hey, you look familiar. Where do you live?
Me: nah, I just look like every other person
Liar Liar: No that’s not it. Where did you grow up?
Me: grew up in CA.
Liar Liar:  Me too. *me: coughs bullshit* Which city?
Me: Long Beach
Liar Liar: Me too. *me: coughs coughs bullshit* Where do you live now?
Me: my profile says where I live. What’s your name?
Liar Liar: Leonardo
Me: Doesn’t ring a bell
Liar Liar:  Why would it?
Me: Uh, you tell me we both grew up in the same state and same city and that I look familiar. You’re seriously asking why I would try to make that connection?
Liar Liar:  I meant I think I’ve seen you around. so where do you live now?
Me: When do you think you saw me last in Long Beach?
Liar Liar:  Maybe several years ago
Me: Hmm… that’s interesting because I haven’t been back in 20 years.
Liar Liar: Oh that’s good. Where do you live?
Me: Why don’t you enlighten me on how that’s good???
Liar Liar: so where are you now?
Me: Omg, you make absolutely no sense

I wasn’t in the mood to continue this pointless conversation, so I ended it here. In hindsight, I’m now curious to find out what his motive was. Hmm…

What I find amusing is this nitwit’s profile reads: I’m really good at: Cutting through the BS to the truth. I’m thinking he should rewrite it to, “I’m really good at: flinging BS and trying to pass it as truth,” to be more accurate. And why did he keep asking where I live???? I’ve only given out my address twice- once to get my$1 million dollar check from an online sweepstakes that has yet to come, and another time to help a Nigerian prince safely get his money into a US bank account. Unless you’re a reputable source sending me money like the aforementioned, where I dwell is none of your goddamn business!

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