Young Guys Aren’t My Cup of Tea

in Emails from Suitors

I’ll be frank: I will NOT consider dating a 20-something year old. It was bad enough dating them when I was in my 20s; I can’t fathom much has changed in terms of maturity and mentality. They either have slapstick humor that I find totally obnoxious, or they’re desperately trying to prove to me how much they have their shit together and they’re way more mature than their contemporaries. Besides that, a 10 year age gap (when the guy is the younger one)  is just… not right. Don’t go saying, “age is just a number” either. When I was 20, he was 10. Ew, but perhaps I’ll consider a 50yr old when I’m 60. Anyway, despite putting on my profile that I prefer 33-40 yr olds, it doesn’t deter these youths. I know I look about 5-8 years younger than my true age, but that doesn’t make me want to be with someone who IS actually young. I know I’m casting the net wide when I say 20-something year olds are immature, but seriously, it holds true most of the time. Case in point:

Youngin’:You must have farted cuz your profile just blew me away…

See that? I don’t want to waste my time with this drivel. It ain’t cute, and it definitely ain’t gonna get a serious response, child! Now go play with someone your own age and leave my granny ass alone.

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