Your Cheating Heart

in Emails from Suitors

Yes, I am fully aware that many people, male and female, cheat in relationships. Still, I can’t help but get all judgy judgy when I hear of it. I guess I’ve never had a relationship worth keeping that’s not worth being monogamous? Anyway, I’m not saying I’m better than those who cheat. I’m just saying I’m too good to be “The Other Woman.”

Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater: Care to be my secret misstress (sic)?

Nope, can’t say that I do, Mister Married Man. Would your WIFE care? I rather not partake in any crazy, baby mama drama. Actually, what I do care about is that you can’t correctly spell mistress.┬áIt’s part of my screen name. Really, bro?

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