You’ve Been Declined

in Stories


There are times when a girl just wants to go out with one of her lady friends and not deal with the pressures of dating. You know, head out to have a nice dinner with some drinks, talk and laugh about men, giggle and bat our eyelashes. Well that was what I had in mind when a girl friend was in town and asked me to join her. What I didn’t anticipate was her calling me while I was parking my car at the restaurant to say she invited a random guy she just met to our dinner date. Was I upset that this stranger was intruding on our girls night out? Nah, she was single and wanted to mingle. I’m  not going to vag-block her. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

I walked in to find her getting cozy with an attractive guy at a table… for 6. Seated around them were two other gentlemen, friends of Last Minute Guy. Maybe she invited them along for me. Why stop at 1 when she can get 2 for me to choose from! Well, I definitely wasn’t expecting this, ah but what the heck. The more the merrier! Or not.

The entire time my friend and her man were canoodling, so I was left talking to Option #1 and Option #2. Option #1 was a big, friendly guy with an adorable personality. Option #2 was anything but that. Our conversation went something like this:

Option #1: So how old are you, if I may ask?
Option #2: That is so rude! You don’t ask a lady her age! Don’t answer him.
Me: Um, it’s fine. I’m 27.
Option #1: So what are you studying?
Option #2: *leaned in and said to me* You don’t have to talk to him if you don’t want to.
Me: Are you two friends??
Option #2: Yeah, we go way back. I’m staying at his condo this week.

Wtf? With friends like that, who needs enemies?

By now, Option #2 has been a total douchebag, leaning in to talk shit about his friend and exaggerating about how awesome his life as a political advisor is. Seriously, bro? In stark contrast, Option #1 was a true Southern gentleman, engaging me in real conversation and even sharing his food with me because it’s “too good not to try”. Sweet right? Too bad I had this sleazy jerk to my right whispering condescending remarks about his “friend”.

Option #2: So you want to go back to the condo?
Me: Why? Are you guys having a party?
Option#2: No, just me.
Me: I’ll pass.

So fast forward, it’s time to pay for dinner. All 3 guys insisted that the ladies not reach for her purse. However, my mother taught me to never take anything from a guy if I don’t expect to return the favor (and believe you me, I was NOT willing to do anything more than give a sincere “thank you”). Option #1 argued, “Please allow us. It was a pleasure to have dinner with true ladies, and it’ll be a privilege to pay for your dinners.” Again, Option #1 showed his true awesomeness, and I succumbed.

The waiter brings out the check, and the guys split it 3 ways. A minute later the waiter comes by and discreetly tells Option #2 that his card was declined. Honestly, I thought nothing of it because it happens- no freaking biggy. Well, tell that to Option#2 because he went off the handles. After the waiter walked away with another credit card, Option #2 yells, “That mother fucker better not come back here. The biggest mistake was his dad not pulling out of his mom sooner!”

Seriously, WTF?! OOOOKKKK, two thoughts came to mind: A) the waiter will definitely have to come back to give the receipt to sign, so um what are you going to do about that, jackass? B) I’m getting the hell out of there pronto because you’re a fucking asshole, and my limit to deal with your kind has been exceeded.

Sure, I can understand a guy seeing that as embarrassing if he’s trying to impress a lady, but be smooth and recover. I promise I won’t judge. But nope, he made an even bigger jackass of himself, so I was totally done being in this dipshit’s company. I immediately got up and turned to thank the other two for dinner and beelined for the door. Option #1 followed me outside to apologize for his friend, again- awesome, right? I should have gotten his number. Doh, retrospect. Oh well, it made for a good post on my blog, so I’m looking back with optimism here.




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